Mayur: Sips his third glass of Rosé and sends Adyasha a voice note, after seeing the blue hai paani and timtimate Lions from the Palais. Adyasha, pata hai there are two kinds of people in the marcom world. Those who covet a Cannes Lion. And those who will never win one. The Can’ts (stop it, it’s not what you’re thinking).

Adyasha: The CAN’Ts are like me during Cannes season. Miserable. The only difference is, I can say it without having to sugar coat it with ‘it’s not effective’, ‘it’s not real work’ or it’s just PR.’ I am bloody jealous. And I can say it in those many words. 

Mayur: Sigh! I feel you. I haven’t won a billi, leave alone a Lion in the last few years. But I wanna, wanna, wanna and I’m not shy of saying it. But! I know plenty of people who never will win and sit pffting at it all.

Adyasha: Hahahahaha! There are SO many breeds of the Can’ts. Let’s call them out?

Mayur: Adyasha, tu pitwaegi. But YES!

A&M ki AnM categories of Can’ts

•     The ‘I believe in real work for real people waaley samaj ke thekedaar’. 
•     The ‘if it’s too creative, it’s not effective waali khap panchayat’.
•     The ‘awards are creative masturbation waaley high priests’.
•     The ‘no one sees the work that wins at Cannes except the people at Cannes waaley randos’.
•     The ‘Cannes is ayyaashi aur fizul kharchi hai kehne waaley daddus’.
•     The ‘I believe in doing the boring things well waali rinse-repeat brigade’. 
•     The ‘mere bass ki nahin hai par yatch parties par dump lenge waali dakiyanusi parties’.
•     The ‘na hum kabhi jeetey hain, jeetenge aur na kisi ko jeet-te hue khush dekhenge waaley negative RWAs’. 
•     The ‘I ignore all these lions waaley posts and make it a point to not like them waaley chaman’. 
     

And last but not the least, the indies who love wagging gnarled fingers at holding companies but ignore other indies who have both guts and glory. 

No chat between Adyasha and Mayur is complete without an epic Adyasha rant. So, here goes nothing.

Adyasha: For the daddus, phuphas, panchayats, and sasur-jis and who do say these things – I think it’s a case of sour grapes. So jelly. Maybe even a little Machiavelli.

You’re telling me that you’ll give these naysayers, craft-ke-rakshaks a Shiny Gold and they’ll refuse it? Arre advertising ke Aamir Khan, to reject an award you must get an award. 

Now back to Cannes season and wave of green, green envy. Why didn’t I think of that idea before? Why am I not in so and so agency? Why does SHE get to go and not me? Boys and girls, dogs and cats, these are beautiful things to feel. These are feelings that make you want to do better. Rather than you sit and marinate in a muck of sameness, tied down by brand guidelines and end-of-day deadlines – you get to the world stage, see ads from all over the world, listen to the most creative people of our times speak – watch advertising history being discussed, or trends being cussed. I think Cannes is important for even those people who won’t win one in their lives – it’s a measure of what is OBJECTIVELY good work. 

We talk a biiiiig talk about advertising not being taken seriously. ‘Hum toh chips bechte hein.’ And here we are, taking it global, to a world stage, and that’s also an issue. 

No wonder the whole industry is suffering from a collective identity crisis. Raise the bar, man. If the Ambanis can do a crazy wedding, we can do a festival of creativity. If nothing, I’m glad Cannes season makes you feel like crap. 

We are shaken out of our Linkedin echo chamber. Our little mutual appreciation societies. Our false sense of ‘we have got it made.’ Bass issi baat pe yatch party banti hai.

Mayur: Adyasha, this deserves ek aur Rosé. And abki baar jeetenge yaar.

Tomar is creative director, McCann Worldgroup, and Hola is vice president - brand, Swiggy. This first appeared in the July issue of Manifest. Get your copy now!