I have realised one significant mathematical fact about my professional life; We are the sum of the bosses we have worked with. 

I have been fortunate to work with some fantastic bosses. A few weren't, and I made sure I left their field of influence pretty soon. Today, my leadership style is a unique mix of the many positive traits I unconsciously imbibed from my mentors and bosses. 

At one job, I had an interesting situation of reporting to 3 dynamic bosses. Each was a super achiever in his area of expertise. But their styles were so different. And while I worked well with all of them, they each brought out a side to me that was unique to their personality. One boss was a micro-manager, and each time he asked me to do something, I did it with a sense of annoyance, knowing that he would nitpick. Another boss was a sarcastic man who enjoyed belittling people. So, each time I worked with him, I was fearful that I might mess up and be the focus of his sharp tongue. The third boss was highly approachable, compassionate, and respectful, and each time he asked for my help, I gave him my 200% as I felt so proud that he had chosen me. 

Some bosses add and multiply so much richness and learning into our lives that we grow in leaps and bounds, surprising ourselves with our leadership capabilities. We feel like Heroes.

And then some bosses only subtract and divide our work energy, sucking all our passion, enthusiasm and drive, leaving us feeling like a total Zero. They are the toxic ones.

If you have been in the industry long enough, then sadly, you would have worked for a toxic boss at some point. Or worked in a toxic culture led by a weak or insecure boss; One who takes credit for all your efforts. So universal is this experience that movies made on this theme are extremely popular globally. Remember, Horrible bosses? Or The devil wears Prada?

The irony, though, is that while we may spend hours and days in front of machines, we don't work for machines; we work with Humans. 

61% of employees leave due to a toxic work culture and poor leadership. 

And yet, a toxic culture doesn’t happen overnight. It starts small and gradually takes root when the wrong people are given leadership positions- bosses who may have a very high IQ but a very poor EQ. Leaders who are only worried about the bottom line and their KPIs, who start breeding a team of yes men or terrified, timid folks. Bosses who bully you into sacrificing your weekends, your family, and even your mental health under the guise of career progression. 

When lousy behaviour and unprofessionalism aren’t addressed, they become the acceptable norm. Folks see nothing is being done to sort this, and their morale, as does their attitude, falls. Why put in extra effort if underperformance goes unchecked? Why not suck up to the boss instead if that behaviour leads to more promotions and less work?

As we navigate through jobs and lateral and vertical career moves, it is essential that we choose our bosses very carefully, just as they choose us.

Cos, most people don't leave toxic jobs; they leave toxic bosses.

The author is founder and chief creative officer, HumanSense (Sri Lanka). This column first appeared in our December issue. Buy your copy here.