Nayak. 

What a movie. Anil Kapoor. CM for a day. Genius. Feels to me a lot like women’s day. Because that’s what we have. A day. 
Without the authority, of course.

But think about it. Nayak: Women’s Day Edition. But give us the power.

I know what you’re thinking. We’ll come to office and make everything pink and purple. We’ll link hands and sing songs and gossip. But I’ll tell you what we’ll do. 

- We’ll install an almost cuss jar : IF YOU WERE GONNA CUSS, CUSS. “Oh Behen… I forgot there was a lady in the room.” Yeah, no sh*t, Sherlock. I am not three. I know what you were gonna say. SAY IT.  Or pay it. 

- Asking women to order food, take notes, suggest party themes or talk to the ‘sad looking’ new joinee will be BANNED until further notes. Anyone who asks will have to run up and down the fire escape five times singing the new Sunidhi Chauhan Song. 

- Women can wear a Saree or dress without being asked, 'Aaj koi spessssul occccasun hai kya?’ 

-  NO decisions about women to be taken without women present in the room. 

- Thinking of Women's Day, Mother's Day, girlfriends day, Daughter's Day ideas? A minimum of 10 women of all age groups to sign off on that idea. 

- The AC temperature to be jointly controlled by a council consisting of men and women. 

- The question ‘Are you PMSing’ to be deemed a punishable offence; fined by a good bottle of wine or a fine dark chocolate by the perpetrator. 

- And HRs, listen up – roses, cupcakes, Zumba, tambola, gift voucher – no thanks. Cold hard cash. Being a woman is hard enough. Pretending to like Tambola? You couldn’t pay us enough. 

Can we be heroines this Women’s day? Can it be about us? Not the five arms sprouting out of us to show us as superwomen? Not us as self-sacrificing goddesses? Just us as Nayikas. Good, bad, cool, awesome girls?

Capiche?

The author is creative director, McCann Worldgroup.