Tara's blog: Birds of a feather flock together, and now we’re a flock of exhausted pigeons

The authors pens a list of ten things we can do to balance our lives better.

Tara Kapur

Aug 20, 2024, 11:17 am

Image courtesy: Gemma Correll

Across conversations with friends, colleagues and family members, one of the most common words I have started hearing being thrown around is how "exhausted" everyone is. The environment we now operate in seems to be pushing a lot of people to transform into 'permanently exhausted pigeons'.

There's so much pressure to do everything, everywhere, all at once!

You need to be on your A-game at work, be the perfect partner or parent at home, have the most Pinterest-able home, go on the perfect, Instagram-worthy vacations, look after your health, maintain your figure, and still have the energy to be out and be a part of the social scene with your friends. And the reason that it’s exhausting is that it is not sustainable for anyone! I penned a list of ten things we can do to balance our lives better, and bring back the night owls, early birds and spring chickens!

  1. Actually switch off during your personal time off (PTO): It starts with the sign-off emails. We meticulously craft our handover documents and speaking to the folks who will step in and take responsibility for our work during our time off, and then we end our emails saying “in case needed I am available on my mobile / WhatsApp number”, or “I’ll be slightly delayed in my response on email and slack.” You need to actually be able to switch off during PTO and trust the team to be able to handle anything that comes up in your absence.

  2. Don’t skip your workout: While this might seem like pretty basic advice, it’s an important reminder because the first thing that tends to get skipped on people’s calendar as the to-do list piles up is the workout. And it doesn't have to be super early in the morning or late at night, you can go for a walk during your lunch break, or go into the gym in the afternoon. Do what works for your schedule and stick to it. The benefits aren’t just physical, because your body releases endorphins or ‘happy hormones’ post workout, you are able to reduce stress, feel more mentally fresh, and as a result, less exhausted. 

  3. Have a check out time: Unless you are a paramedic, police officer, firefighter or other emergency related roles, most of us are working in roles that aren’t saving lives. Yet, we treat almost every project, phone call or email as ‘urgent’, and every problem as a ‘crisis’. There are very few scenarios that are truly ‘business critical, and need people to work overtime. Most of these situations can be handled the next day, and it’s very important to set an out time for yourself to keep performing at a high standard consistently. 

  4. Respect personal blocks (both your own and those of others):  Add personal blocks in your calendar so that you are in control of your schedule, make sure you are able to respect those blocks both for yourself and for your colleagues. I often see people adding meetings over someone’s ‘lunch’ block or ‘personal time’ blocks, and it’s important to call out that behavior and explain why those blocks exist on your calendar. 

  5. Don’t doom scroll (add timeouts on social media apps): The main reason we feel this sense of a lack of accomplishment is because we keep scrolling through the glossy versions of other people’s lives on social media, and it just feels like they actually are accomplishing everything. And even though most of us know that these are simply highlights reels of other people’s lives, it’s hard to change how that makes you feel. It’s important to put on timers to reduce the amount of time spent on these apps, or to remove notifications, so that it reduces the temptation to doom scroll. 

  6. Eat your meals on time: Even though this also feels obvious, I am putting this out because it’s surprising how many people actually don’t eat their meals on time. Bad eating habits can lead to bad gut health, and a poor gut can impact your sleep, cause fatigue, as well as cause anxiety and stress. We often joke about being ‘hangry’ when we don’t eat on time, and that’s way more true that a lot of people expect. 

  7. Learn to Prioritise: You can have everything, just not all at once, and I think that’s something that a lot of people forget. We are impatient and want everything immediately. If you’re a recent mother for example, your child and family will take priority and other things do need to take a back seat. If you are in the early stage of your career you might want to prioritize your work. If something is taking more of your time and attention, something else has to give. Just because something is taking a backseat right now, doesn’t mean it can’t be a priority later in life. 

  8. Do something just for yourself, at least once a week: At least once a week find something that fills your own cup and energises you. This could be attending a workshop, getting a manicure, or even taking a nap. But make sure it's something you are doing for yourself and not something that you are feeling pressure to do for someone else. 

  9. Take comp offs when needed: There are going to be days at work when you need to work on a weekend, or you are working late into the night to hit a deadline, and it’s important to be able to show up for your job and team. But that doesn’t mean that you don’t pull back and take time to rest post the deadline. Organizations give comp offs (compensation offs), when you have worked over time, but I have noticed that a lot of people don’t utilize this as much. Not getting a break is one of the fastest ways to burn out, and making sure you are spacing out the leave that’s available to you is very important. 

  10. Get enough sleep: We live in a world where a lot of leaders and entrepreneurs talk about how they can manage their day to day with as little as 4-5 hours of sleep a day, and how by packing more working hours they are able to become high achievers. One of the biggest solutions to this feeling of being permanently exhausted is to just get more sleep! Our bodies need to rest and recover, and more often than not, a good night’s sleep can be the solution.  

(The author is India market lead, Duolingo English Test)

Source: MANIFEST MEDIA

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